Brigid Faye, Reader

I’ve written three poems on trust and someone wrote one for me. I’m sharing them here with approximate dates so the evolution of what trust means to me can be understood.

*Trust, 2019, by me to a former lover*

Trust

I want to trust you again 

But I’m scared. 

I love your sweet words 

You’re pretty good at poetry

Don’t get a big head. 

You’re doing it again. 

I’m falling again. 

I’m falling for myself

I’m falling for you

I’m falling for us. 

But I don’t want to fall for a lie. 

I need some proof.

Some proof that I’m better. 

Some proof that you’re better. 

In order to trust.

But what does proof look like? 

That I don’t know. 

I’m still so fragile. 

I need to be stronger. 

How to be strong? 

How to grow ego? 

Tell me please. 

*Trust, 2019, by said former lover* 

won’t be telling you again
I’m not doing it again
Falling for you and you for me
Has already happened
It was intense
And in my hand
Too much to comprehend
It’s time we raise

Ego is confidence
Trusting in yourself (with no proof)
Knowing what you want
Setting your limits
Asserting what you want
Not giving up easy
Doing what you want
So ego needs balance

I’m not gonna tell you again
But we’ll write it together
Time is the only way to trust

Time is Not the Only Way to Trust, by me, 2019

Time is Not the Only Way to Trust 

I have given you time,

and I do not trust you. 

I have met others, whom I trust in an instant. 

It’s some communication. 

Something in the eyes. 

Something animalistic

Something primal. 

I know I can trust when I feel it in my gut. 

It’s something in a handshake 

something in a glance. 

How does a dog know if a person can be trusted?

It’s something in a smell. 

It’s finding someone’s intention. 

Stare into the window, 

The window of the soul, 

And decide to trust. 

Or not. 

Decide if friendly intention, 

Or not. 

And finally, Trust, by me 2022

To trust oneself,

Is to know oneself.

To trust the world,

Is to know the world.

And trust is to trust

That someone will always be themselves.

Their worst self, their best self,

It doesn’t matter.

To trust is to know.

To know is to embrace knowledge,

Trust your senses,

However many you were blessed with.

Trust is a balancing act.

It is not,

Will they hurt me?

Because they always will.