As I step into the shower

I take a deep breath…

This moment is definitely a tower.

The water pelts my back

Until I turn it off

And commence the panic attack.

Every. Single. Time.

Flashbacks on the floor.

If I’m not clean it’s a crime.

The trigger can’t be avoided

In this modern world.

Never mind what that boy did.

He’s an officer now.

I’m disabled.

But to society I bow.

And I towel off,

Once the shaking stops.

I gaze at my empty eyes

In a foggy mirror.

Never letting out the cries

That lie deep inside.

I feel that with each shower,

Another piece of me dies.

Sometimes, triggering things

Can’t be avoided

Just because

They’re triggering.

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